In this solo episode, host Dr. Lee Sharma breaks down the SPARC framework, a practical tool for physicians to handle subtle, corrosive conflicts like eye rolls or passive-aggressive notes. Learn how to turn tension into trust, reduce burnout, and build stronger teams without avoidance, dominance, or escalation.
Why do everyday conflicts, like eye rolls in the OR or “we’ve always done it this way” in meetings, erode healthcare teams, and how can physicians lead through them effectively?
In this insightful solo episode, Dr. Lee Sharma explores why medical training prioritizes decisiveness over emotional regulation and relational skills, fostering avoidance, dominance, or intellectualization that erodes trust.
She introduces SPARC (Stop, Pause, Ask, Reflect/Respond, Create) as a repeatable framework to de-escalate and transform conflicts into positive outcomes. Unmanaged conflict drains morale, impacts patient care, and fuels burnout amid pressures like staffing shortages and regulations. SPARC begins with stopping reactions to create space, pausing for self-awareness to identify triggers like respect or control, asking curiously to dissolve assumptions, reflecting to make others feel heard before responding intentionally, and creating shared agreements or protocols for forward movement.
Dr. Sharma shares an OB-GYN example resolving senior partner overrides through private feedback, reducing tension. She highlights SPARC’s scalability for various settings and offers free bracelets to encourage daily use among “peaceful warriors” in medicine.
Three Actionable Takeaways
About the Show:
Behind every procedure, every patient encounter, lies an untold story of conflict and negotiation. Scalpel and Sword, hosted by Dr. Lee Sharma—physician, mediator, and guide—invites listeners into the unseen battles and breakthroughs of modern medicine. With real conversations, human stories, and practical tools, this podcast empowers physicians to reclaim their voices, sharpen their skills, and wield their healing power with both precision and purpose.
About the Host:
Dr. Lee Sharma is a gynecologist based in Auburn, AL, with over 30 years of clinical experience. She holds a Master’s in Conflict Resolution and is passionate about helping colleagues navigate workplace challenges and thrive through open conversations and practical tools.
[00:00:00] Hello, my peaceful warriors and welcome to the Scalpel and Sword Podcast. I am your host, Dr. Lee Sharma, physician and conflict analyst, and today we are talking about something that, of. Course is the theme of our podcast of everything we talk about here in scalpel and sword. But it's something that every physician, every healthcare professional experiences, but very few are trained to handle well.
We're talking about conflict, not the screaming kind, not the HR disaster kind. The everyday corrosive culture eroding kind, the eye roll in the or. Passive aggressive epic message. The, we've always done it this way. In committee, the senior partner who shuts down the junior associate left unmanaged conflict drains teams, fractures, departments, and destroys [00:01:00] physician morale.
So today I'm giving you a tool, a clean repeatable framework, five letters, S-P-A-R-C. Spelling spark because conflict handled well doesn't burn down your team, it creates light. So why do physicians struggle with conflict? We are trained to diagnose pathology. We are not trained to diagnose interpersonal dynamics.
medical education, rewards, decisiveness, certainty, authority. It does not reward curiosity, emotional regulation or relational repair. So when conflict shows up, we default to one of three patterns. We avoid it. We just say it's not worth it, and we let it go. We dominate. We say, this is my call my way, or the [00:02:00] highway, or we intellectualize.
We just say, let's stick to the data. But none of those build trust and trust is the coin of the realm. But Spark does Conflict triggers physiology before it triggers cognition. Cortisol rises heart rate increases in your brain shift towards threat detection. So we have to stop. The S in SPARK stands for stop.
The first move is not verbal. It is biological. We stop. We stop talking. We stop typing. We stop reacting in the or. Stopping bleeding prevents shock in leadership. Stopping reaction prevents damage. This can be as simple as, let's take a minute or saying, I'd like to think about that, or [00:03:00] physically putting your pen down.
Stopping creates psychological space and space is power. The P in SPARK stands for pause, and this has been a recurring theme throughout the podcast of people talking about the power of taking a beat, taking a pause, taking a breath. Stop is external, but the pause is internal. The pause asks, what am I feeling?
Why is this activating me? What story am I telling myself? Most physician conflict isn't about the presenting issue. It's about respect. It's about control, recognition or fairness. The pause interrupts your default narrative. Instead of, she's undermining me, you shift to. I'm feeling dismissed and [00:04:00] that matters to me.
You cannot lead what you cannot regulate, and the pause is self-leadership. The next A is for ask. Don't assume assumption is the accelerant of conflict. We assume intent. We assume disrespect. We assume incompetence. Instead, we need to learn to ask, not in an accusatory fashion, but in a curious way. So what are examples of this?
Instead of, why did you ignore my consult? Try help me understand what happened with the consult yesterday instead of you blindsided me in that meeting. Try. Can you walk me through your thinking in that meeting? Curiosity, disarms defensiveness, and here's the [00:05:00] leadership truth. Most conflict dissolves when people feel heard.
We are asking questions that uncover goals, that uncover constraints, hidden pressures and misunderstanding. You're not interrogating, you're investigating. The R in SPARK stands for reflect and Respond, and this is where we tend to skip ahead and we get into trouble. We want to go straight with solution.
We wanna have this solved, but we have to learn to reflect first. What does reflection sound like? It sounds like what I'm hearing is that you felt unsupported. Or it sounds like timing was the real issue. Maybe saying you're concerned about patient safety, not control. When someone feels accurately reflected, [00:06:00] their nervous system settles.
And only then do you respond. And response is different from reaction. Response is intentional. It includes things like ownership. Saying, you know, I could have communicated that better. Or maybe it communicates boundaries. I'm not comfortable being interrupted in front of the team. It also may include alignment.
Alignment of goals, things like we both want safe outcomes. Reflection builds trust, response builds clarity, and together they build credibility. The C and SPARK stands for Create Conflict without Creation is just ventilation. The final step is forward movement. What are we creating through the positive application of [00:07:00] conflict?
We're creating shared agreement, a new process, a behavioral boundary, a communication rule or pattern. What are examples of this? So we have walked through SPA and R, so we're gonna create, now, let's agree to review cases privately before the committee. If there is a disagreement in the or we'll debrief after we close.
We'll trial this protocol for 30 days. Creation transforms conflict from personal to structural, and that is leadership maturity. So let's look at some real world examples where we can apply spark. So let's say we have an OB, GYN, who's in a group who feels the senior partner routinely overrides her clinical decisions in front of the staff without spark, [00:08:00] without stopping, pausing.
Asking rather than resuming reflection and response and then creation. If we don't walk through those steps, resentment builds. The staff can tell, they can feel that tension, and then the culture starts to erode and that sets us up for more destructive conflict. That sets us up for things that the patients will be able to feel.
But when we have Spark, she doesn't confront in the hallway, she stops. She pauses. She identifies the trigger. Public correction feels humiliating. She asks, can we talk about what happened in clinic yesterday? I'd like to understand your concerns. She reflects it sounds like you were worried about the liability exposure.
She responds when corrections happen publicly. I feel undermined. I'd appreciate [00:09:00] feedback privately. And then they create. There is an agreement, clinical disagreements discussed after clinic, unless patient safety is immediate. No drama, no escalation, just professional alignment. This is executive presence.
Why does it matter? Why should we even take the time to have a process like Spark in our daily practice? It matters in medicine. Healthcare as a system is under tremendous pressure, burnout, staffing shortages, financial strain, regulatory burden. We can't afford internal fractures. Conflict competence is now a core leadership skill.
It's not optional anymore. If you are a residency director, a department [00:10:00] chair, a practice owner, or just a respected attending your emotional regulation sets the tone. Spark also is built as a system to grow. It's scalable. It works in operating rooms, board rooms, residency programs, private practice. It is surgical in its precision.
Strategic in its impact. Conflict is not the enemy. Unmanaged, conflict is spark gives you structure when emotions run high. When you feel yourself entering into this conflict situation , stop, pause, ask, reflect, and respond. Create. Leadership isn't about avoiding tension, it's about transforming it. I have [00:11:00] bracelets with the acronym on them, spark, and I would love to give these bracelets to you.
So please reach out to me on LinkedIn or m my website, leigh sharma.com, and I would love to send you. Spark bracelets as many as you want, and I would love to hear about your experience with applying spark in your daily life. I'm so glad you joined me here today on the scalpel and sword, and until next time, my peaceful warriors be at peace.